S.U.S.P.E.C.T

you know what is the worst thing happen in the world?
i knew it,
i really knew it since i was young~
maybe when i was 5 or 6~
people suspected me,
why am i giving people so many chances to suspect me?
i don't know why~
am i having those kind of character in me?
i need a mirror,
a mirror that reflects all my characteristics in me~
show me who am i in other people's eyes...
i need to know it,
i don't wanna suffer by people's suspect~
it feels so bad~
you know,
i don't want that...
really terrible~
i don't want it...
that feeling is just like your tears can't come out of your eyes...
you can't cry out,
you can't shout out~
all those kind of feelings~
i don't like that~
not for a person that i don't care even a little bit~
why?
when i think i am happy,
sure something bad will happen~
every time...
so,
if i could choose,
i just wanna people who i love to be happy always...
i don't mind myself is suffering or what...
i just want them to be happy...
no matter what i doing,
i just wanna them to be happy~
see them smile always~
then it's enough for me already~
i don't ask for more~
just that~
enough...